Ryan's Rants - Installment #4

I find myself finding getting irritated by many things. With that being said, I thought it would be quite cathartic for me to write a series of weekly articles in which I rant about the various things that annoy me.

I know this has nothing really to do with Fantasy Football, but hell, it's my website, I can do what I want.


Here is the 4th installment of "Ryan's Rants" :


1.
Creepy Peeers - If you've ever peed in a men's bathroom urinal, you have probably encountered the "Creepy Peeer" (and yes, I did just make the word "Peeer" up). This person insists on standing as far away from the urinal as possible so that no matter what you do to avoid looking at his "package", you still end up catching a glimpse. The more advanced Creepy Peeers will even use the "no-hands" technique where they place both their hands behind there back and stretch will peeing. Totally unnecessary and gross. For some reason, it's always old dudes that behave this way. Is there something about getting old that makes men want to flaunt their packages to other men? I never want to get old.

2. Whiny and Pointless Facebook Statuses - Nobody cares that you are having a bad day and that you are looking for sympathy. I can understand using your Facebook status to gather support every once in a great while. However, people have seriously abused this tactic. It's gotten to the point of being very annoying and is so diluted that nobody gives a crap about anybody's statuses anymore. And the statuses that aren't whiny are usually mundane and pointless. Here are just a few statuses I pulled from my Facebook news feed today:

"Just had a nice 5.5 mile run in this awesome weather! :)"
My response: Who cares!

"Been up since 6am...ugh...accomplishments so far: 8 papers written, one report, one test, one powerpoint, and one 50min long presentation...Still left to accomplish for the day: sleep, eating and night class. Screw you college. We are not friends right now."
My response: I don't need to know the itinerary for your whole damn day (especially since I've met you like two times).

"2 papers..3 finals..and 5 days til I'm done with freshman year of college!!!!"
My response: Who cares!

"I am not sure what to think at this point? What is wrong with me??"
My Response: How the hell am I suppose to know?

I could go on forever copying and pasting whiny and pointless Facebook statuses. What is the world coming to? Don't people want to have some privacy in their lives anymore? I guess not.


3. Men's Thong Sandals - In general, feet are gross. However, men's feet are even more gross. No man on Earth has nice looking feet. However, the trend over the last few years has been for men to wear "thong" sandals which expose their feet in all their grossness. I don't want to see that. Also, it just looks really femmy to me when men wear thong sandals. And they don't seem comfortable at all. I just don't get it.

4. Unnecessary Stoplight on 12th Street - There is a stoplight in my hometown on 12th street that serves no purpose except to piss me off. It's located on a one-way street with the only cross-street coming at the right. In other words, the perpendicular street can only turn right onto this one way. It can't go straight or left, just right. Since, when do we need a stoplight for people to turn right on to a one-way street (a non-busy one-way street at that). I always manage to his this stoplight when it turns red as well. I just sit there with no other cars in sight and think to myself how this is the most moronic stoplight ever created by man. City of Dubuque please disable this stoplight. Thanks.

5. Men Who Have Constantly Shirtless Profile Pics on Facebook - This really aggravates me. Every once in a while when browsing through Facebook, I come upon a guy who has a profile pic of him with his shirt off. Then, out of curiosity, I look through their other previous profile pics to find that 80% of their other profile pics were of them with their shirts off. I dislike this because #1, I don't like to look at men with their shirts off and #2, I'm allergic to douchebags. Honestly, is there any reason to deliberately post profile pics of yourself with your shirt off (unless your girl)?
I think Facebook should ban all photos of men who have shirtless profile pics and punish them by putting them into a room where they have to watch an hour slideshow of nothing but shirtless men. See how they like it!
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2 comments :

On a roll said...

HAHAHA....I was hoping my Facebook statuses would make the cut. Though I must admit my statusi are generally hilarious, imo.

Ryan Sitzmann said...

You're statuses are definitely worth a read. "On a roll", I love it! haha.

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